I spent all day job-hunting. It started out pretty good; I'm glad I had the burst of energy to carry me through because it was emotionally draining. Zhanar was good company and I made sure to park in the shade, leave the windows cracked, and bring her water. She had fun at the beginning of the day when I woke up this afternoon and took her over to the GSU courtyard and let her run around. I met a couple of people from before and we hung out for a few minutes; I had them watch her while I went into the library to return some movies. She pooped in the sculpture garden about a foot from Mono II, so I see she's already taking after me as an art critic (good dog!)

But, man, after a while I felt so drained, so alone, so empty. I'm grateful for my dog to get me through this period, but it still hurts so bad to not have someone in my life. My emotions keep switching between exhileration from living so much on the edge than I ever have before and fatal depression. I woke up this afternoon and took inventory of my money situation. I have negative dollars in the bank and two maxed out credit cards with about $50 left, and unless I get work immediately I could face starvation and have to start pawning shit off. It's scary and exciting all mixed up in one. If I needed some real love at any time in my life, it would be right now.