Today I've failed. I let my guard down and the devil took me in my sleep. I've lost the strength I need to stand up against this desperate time and the only honorable thing to do is to die like a soldier. I'm disgusted with myself and I'd be a fraud if I attempted to live on and forget it. Please take care of my dog and remember me for my righteousness. This I do in the name of Love, love which I tried to hold out for, love which never came and left me cold. Farewell.